Whiskey Lullaby
by Nytel
Summary: She put him out, like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette. KaraLee. WARNING: Character Death. Spoilers up to Eye of Jupiter and the trailer for Rapture.


Spoilers up to Eye of Jupiter and the trailer for Rapture.

**A/N: **This is a fic I wrote before Rapture aired. It's taken me until now to work up the courage to post it. I'm letting people know right off the bat that it is intended to be vague. The actions of some character are up for interpretation, and it is up to the reader to fill in what happened behind the scenes if they are so inclined.

Also, this is a songfic for the song _Whiskey Lullaby_ by Brad Paisely and Allison Krauss.

**Whiskey Lullaby**

_

* * *

She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette

* * *

_  
Helo was there in the hangar deck when Kara exited her burnt and barely flying raptor. Even with his mind racing over the current events in his own life, he was relieved to see Kara safely back on Galactica. However, that relief was nothing compared to what Apollo must have been feeling. 

Their affair was for the most part a secret, but Helo had known Kara since before the attacks, and he could tell. She hadn't said anything. It was just the little things that gave it away, the subtleties that almost everyone else missed, like how she seemed to look forward to her morning briefings more than normal, how she enjoyed even the uneventful CAPs, and most importantly, how she seemed to glow after looking over flight schedules with the Major.

Even without picking up on all that, Helo was sure that any person present would recognize the look on Apollo's face. Karl had never seen the CAG show so much emotion at one time, but there it was, written clear as day across his features: relief over knowing that the woman he loved was safe.

Helo watched as Lee made his way towards Kara, completely oblivious to anything and everything else, including his own wife. When Kara turned away from him and walked into Sam's open arms, Lee's face hardened.

Karl felt the other man's pain as Kara buried her face into Sam's neck and held on for dear life. He had no idea what had gone on down there on the planet, but it had changed things.  
_

* * *

She broke his heart; he spent his whole life tryin' to forget  
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time  
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind  
Until the night

* * *

_

She broke his heart; he spent his whole life tryin' to forgetWe watched him drink his pain away a little at a timeBut he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mindUntil the nightShe broke his heart; he spent his whole life tryin' to forgetWe watched him drink his pain away a little at a timeBut he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mindUntil the night 

After that Kara did everything she could to rebuild her marriage, and with each step she took, Lee seemed to withdraw further into himself. Karl couldn't do anything but watch from the sidelines as Lee slid into depression. It wasn't long before anything resembling the old Apollo was gone, leaving behind only the empty shell of a man.

He still performed his duties with textbook perfection, but it was like there was nothing left for him. When he wasn't on duty, he could be found in his quarters downing the Chief's brew like a man dying of thirst drank from an oasis in the desert.

When they discovered Earth, Helo hoped that starting anew would be enough incentive for Apollo. Maybe he would finally be able to let go of his feelings for Kara and move on. Unfortunately it seemed like building a new life on Earth, one completely without her, was the last thing he had wanted.

_

* * *

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger  
And finally drank away her memory  
Life is short but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees  
We found him with his face down in the pillow  
With a note that said I'll love her till I die

* * *

_

They had only been settled on the thirteenth colony for three months, and until better arrangements could be made, all colonial citizens on the planet were living in apartment style housing on a large military base. It wasn't big or luxurious, but it was better than life on a battlestar.

One early morning Helo found himself unable to sleep. He told Sharon he was going for a run and then kissed her gently on the forehead. He didn't make it halfway down the hallway of the apartment building before he heard a scream followed by violent sobs.

Alarmed, he backtracked a few steps in order to find out which apartment it was coming from. 107, that was… "Apollo," he shouted as he banged his fist on the door—something wasn't right.

Half a second later the door opened and Dee came stumbling out, tears streaming down her face. If he hadn't been on alert before, he was then. Dee had spent years working in CIC and nothing rattled her.

"Oh my Gods," she cried out in between heaving breaths.

Helo reached out and grabbed onto her upper arms. "Dee," he said stooping slightly to look at her. "What's going on?" He was trying to stay calm, for her sake, but he knew that something was terribly wrong.

She was shaking and look liked she was on the verge of fainting, but she managed to speak. "I… I told him to… stop loving her." She squeezed her eyes shut. "He told me… that he couldn't."

Heart racing, Karl tightened his grip on her arms slightly. "Dee, where's Apollo?" Instead of answering she broke down completely, collapsing in his arms.

Looking around he saw that a crowd had formed and he shoved Dee into the arms of the nearest person, who happened to be Gaeta. Not wasting any time he entered into the apartment, searching for Apollo.

Seeing nothing in the living room except for a blanket on the couch, Karl headed for the bedroom. The door was halfway open, but when he pushed it the rest of the way he saw something that would haunt him for years to come. There were empty bottles scattered around the floor, but that wasn't what caused him to stop dead in his tracks.

Apollo was laying face down on the bed. There was a pool of blood staining the pillow underneath his head, and a gun was resting in his limp hand.

Helo stood there stock-still, for once in his life having no idea what to do. A second or two passed before he saw the small white piece of paper resting on the nightstand. He took two shaky steps forward and picked it up.

_I'll love her till I die_ was written in messy handwriting.

Suddenly, the paper in his hand felt leaden. Helo knew he couldn't let Kara see it. She wasliving in the same apartment building, and he knew she would hear the commotion and make her way there. He balled up the paper and stuffed it in the pocket of his pants. Not a second later he heard a sharp intake of breath. The noise startled him and he whipped around to face the doorway.

His heart broke when he saw Kara standing behind him, body shaking as tears began to stream down her face. It may have appeared that she'd stopped caring about Lee, everything in her life pointed to that conclusion, but seeing her at that moment, Helo knew that it had all been a façade. He'd helped Kara through a lot of rough times in her life, but he'd never seen her look so broken, like her entire world had just fallen apart.

_

* * *

And when we buried him beneath the willow  
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

* * *

_The funeral was a small gathering of people, only close friends from the fleet. Helo was secretly relieved that the Old Man had passed away shortly after they'd made it to Earth. Karl knew how much pain losing a child caused, and no one deserved to go through that twice. 

As he stood there in full military dress with Sharon at his side, he stared across the circle of people, toward the willow tree. Kara was standing alone, separated from the group. Sam was at the service, but he was standing with everyone else, giving Kara the space she so obviously needed.

Helo had needed to physically carry Kara out of Lee's apartment, and he had no idea how she was managing to hold herself together—he saw her shoulders shake with repressed emotion—she was barely managing it.

When the coffin was lowered into the ground, Kara turned away. Helo's heart broke a little more. He wished he could help her, but this was something he couldn't fix.

_

* * *

The rumors flew, but nobody know how much she blamed herself  
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath  
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time  
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind  
Until the night

* * *

_

Helo wasn't deaf. He heard what people were saying about Kara. For the first two weeks after the funeral it seemed like everywhere he went there were whispers of how she'd destroyed Apollo. People believed that their falling out years ago was what had led him to his fate, and maybe they were right. Karl did what he could to quell the talk, but he wasn't even sure that it mattered—he'd seen Kara only a handful of times since the funeral, but he knew she was blaming herself.

Karl spent months watching Kara spiral into heavy depression. He was continuously nearby, trying to help her by simply being there, but it wasn't working.

He wasn't the only one that she had distanced herself from either—less than two months after the funeral, she and Sam had split. Sam had done everything that he could think of to help Kara, but none of it had worked, and she'd left him no choice but to agree to a divorce.

Karl knew that she started to drink more heavily after that. He tried and tried to persuade her to pull her life back together, to make the best out of it that she could, but Kara was the most stubborn person he knew. She kept drinking, and Helo wasn't even sure if there was a time she was completely sober.

_

* * *

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger  
And finally drank away his memory  
Life is short but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees  
We found her with her face down in the pillow  
Clinging to his picture for dear life

* * *

_

Helo was on his way home from work one day, and as he was coming up on Kara's street he decided that he'd stop in and pay her a visit. He turned the car down the road and stopped a few houses down. When he reached the front door, he noticed that there weren't any lights on, but her Jeep was parked in the driveway.

He tried the door and was surprised to find it open. "Kara," he called out in the dim light of the house. "You home?"

For a second he thought she might have gone for a run, but he quickly dismissed it—she hadn't ran in years, he doubted today was any different.

He called her name again as he made his way further into the house. When there was still no response, worry ran through his veins. He checked the kitchen, but other than empty whiskey bottles he found nothing. When he came to the bedroom, with its door halfway shut, he experienced a chilling sense of déjà vu.

Hands shaking, he pushed open the door the rest of the way. It was dark, and he couldn't see anything. Heart racing, Helo felt around on the wall for the light switch. When the lights flickered on, he felt his heart stop.

Tears sprung to his eyes and ran unhindered down his face. Kara was lying face down on the bed with a pool of blood around her head and a gun lying beside her. For a second, Karl's vision flashed back and forth between the present and that horrid morning months earlier.

He shut his eyes tightly and inhaled shakily. "Oh, Kara," he whispered into the silence.

When he finally worked up the courage to open his eyes, he saw something that he'd missed the first time. In Kara's left hand she clutched something, like she didn't want to let go, not even in death.

He didn't have to step closer to know what it was. One glimpse at the worn corner was enough—he'd seen the picture hanging in her locker for too long not to know what it was.

_

* * *

We laid her next to him beneath the willow  
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

* * *

_

It was Helo who insisted that she be buried next to Lee. He knew that despite everything that had happened between the two of them, it was something they would have both wanted. In death they could be together for eternity, something they hadn't accomplished in life.

_The End_


End file.
